Stop the Relationship Wrestling

Take down–two points. Reversal–two points. Pin–for the win. These are all things I witnessed at my son’s most recent wrestling tournament. As I sat and watched my son wrestle, I couldn’t help but think that I see a similar pattern of verbal and emotional behavior from many of the couples I have seen in my office. Each of these couples seem more concerned with taking down their partner or finding a reversal or a comeback. While some partners will go to great lengths to get the pin and get the … [Read more...]

Say YES to Saying NO! : A Guide to Overcoming People Pleasing

Self Test: YES NO Will you do whatever is asked of you to keep everyone around you happy? YES NO Is it everyone else more important than yourself? YES NO Is it saying “no” hard for you? YES NO Is it to be needed almost an addiction for you? YES NO When you are needed it make you feel important? Even when you know that somebody might be taking advantage of you? YES NO Is it making positive contributions to someone else’s life is highly fulfilling for … [Read more...]

Control vs. No Control

Everyday we have situations, circumstances, people, and events calling for our attention. Some are exciting, some are scary, some are confusing, some are frustrating. The list of possible reactions to the innumerable circumstances are endless. So how do we decide what to focus our efforts on, and what to let go? First, it is important to realize that there are some things that we have control over, and some that we do not. You can most likely control what you eat for breakfast, where you … [Read more...]

Breaking Out of Your Emotional Jail

If you were taught similar things to most people, you probably grew up believing that the world was simply divided into good and bad and right and wrong. And if you were to lift the cover on yourself, you will find a “shoulds list” that you have probably never accomplished, living a life full of holes, and dark moments you believe you will never be able to fill. Some people don’t want to lift the cover because “what they do not know does not hurt them”, and besides, “they are fine the way … [Read more...]

The Healthy Self: Esteem, Love, and Worth

Is there such a thing as loving oneself too much? What about too little? How do we achieve the balance of self; in the sense that it is just right? Let’s delve into what each of these actually mean and then expand upon their relationship towards each other: Self-esteem: what we THINK and FEEL and BELIEVE about ourselves. Self-love: regard for one’s own WELL-BEING and HAPPINESS. Self-worth: one’s own VALUE as a person. Each of these aspects of self have an integral part to play in … [Read more...]

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