Mistaken Identity

Are you dealing with a mistaken identity? Are you aware that your mistaken identity is negatively impacting your marriage or couple relationship? This is happening when you mistake poor behavior or a negative attitude as being part of your identity or personality? Every day I directly tell couples to stop being critical, defensive, making assumptions, and a long list of other things that are guaranteed to improve their relationships. However, I often hear things like “I’m not going to change who … [Read more...]

Marriage counselor with a flip phone

I trying an experiment that I began a few months ago until the end of the year. I gave up my smartphone. In recent years more and more research has found correlations between smartphone use and marriage problems, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and emotional distance. I see it in my clients. I have counseled couples for years to be careful with their use so that the phone doesn't take away from family time. Unfortunately, I found that I was not feeling as happy, my kids would ask if I was done … [Read more...]

Managing Life’s Roadblocks

There are times in our life plans when we feel like we have hit a brick wall. These types of barriers can be any obstacle, real or perceived, that prevents us from achieving a desired objective. This can occur in our personal life or in any type of relationship whether with a spouse, a family member, friend, or co-worker. We struggle to understand why the other person [whom we perceive to be the obstacle] cannot change to meet our [rational or irrational] needs. When we do approach roadblocks, … [Read more...]

Say YES to Saying NO! : A Guide to Overcoming People Pleasing

Self Test: YES NO Will you do whatever is asked of you to keep everyone around you happy? YES NO Is it everyone else more important than yourself? YES NO Is it saying “no” hard for you? YES NO Is it to be needed almost an addiction for you? YES NO When you are needed it make you feel important? Even when you know that somebody might be taking advantage of you? YES NO Is it making positive contributions to someone else’s life is highly fulfilling for … [Read more...]

Control vs. No Control

Everyday we have situations, circumstances, people, and events calling for our attention. Some are exciting, some are scary, some are confusing, some are frustrating. The list of possible reactions to the innumerable circumstances are endless. So how do we decide what to focus our efforts on, and what to let go? First, it is important to realize that there are some things that we have control over, and some that we do not. You can most likely control what you eat for breakfast, where you … [Read more...]

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