Marriage counselor with a flip phone

I did it. I gave up my smartphone. In recent years more and more research has found correlations between smartphone use and marriage problems, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and emotional distance. I see it in my clients. I have counseled couples for years to be careful with their use so that the phone doesn't take away from family time. Unfortunately, I found that I was not feeling as happy, my kids would ask if I was done with my phone so they could spend time with me, and I wasted more … [Read more...]

Managing Life’s Roadblocks

There are times in our life plans when we feel like we have hit a brick wall. These types of barriers can be any obstacle, real or perceived, that prevents us from achieving a desired objective. This can occur in our personal life or in any type of relationship whether with a spouse, a family member, friend, or co-worker. We struggle to understand why the other person [whom we perceive to be the obstacle] cannot change to meet our [rational or irrational] needs. When we do approach roadblocks, … [Read more...]

Say YES to Saying NO! : A Guide to Overcoming People Pleasing

Self Test: YES NO Will you do whatever is asked of you to keep everyone around you happy? YES NO Is it everyone else more important than yourself? YES NO Is it saying “no” hard for you? YES NO Is it to be needed almost an addiction for you? YES NO When you are needed it make you feel important? Even when you know that somebody might be taking advantage of you? YES NO Is it making positive contributions to someone else’s life is highly fulfilling for … [Read more...]

Control vs. No Control

Everyday we have situations, circumstances, people, and events calling for our attention. Some are exciting, some are scary, some are confusing, some are frustrating. The list of possible reactions to the innumerable circumstances are endless. So how do we decide what to focus our efforts on, and what to let go? First, it is important to realize that there are some things that we have control over, and some that we do not. You can most likely control what you eat for breakfast, where you … [Read more...]

The Healthy Self: Esteem, Love, and Worth

Is there such a thing as loving oneself too much? What about too little? How do we achieve the balance of self; in the sense that it is just right? Let’s delve into what each of these actually mean and then expand upon their relationship towards each other: Self-esteem: what we THINK and FEEL and BELIEVE about ourselves. Self-love: regard for one’s own WELL-BEING and HAPPINESS. Self-worth: one’s own VALUE as a person. Each of these aspects of self have an integral part to play in … [Read more...]

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