Stop the Relationship Wrestling

Take down–two points. Reversal–two points. Pin–for the win. These are all things I witnessed at my son’s most recent wrestling tournament. As I sat and watched my son wrestle, I couldn’t help but think that I see a similar pattern of verbal and emotional behavior from many of the couples I have seen in my office. Each of these couples seem more concerned with taking down their partner or finding a reversal of a comeback. While some partners some partners will go to great lengths to get the pin … [Read more...]

Create a Magical Couple Relationship

When I was a little boy, I would lay awake anticipating what presents Santa Claus was going to bring me. In spite of fact that Santa Claus never gave me what I had asked for, year after year I would experience the wonder and excitement of anticipating what Santa would bring me. I believe my childhood anticipation was a gift that made this time of year “magical” for me. As I think about other “magical” moments in my life that I have awaited with excited anticipation, I think about, the time I … [Read more...]

Family First

We live in a world driven by aspirations, public opinion, and striving to be the best. Why do we do this? The short and blunt answer might be: image management. At what cost? The short and blunt answer might be: our families. I have been one who has always strived to excel. I worked hard as a child to live up to my potential. I secured a scholarship to college, attended the best graduate programs in my field, ran for public office, sat on advisory boards, developed a successful business that … [Read more...]

In Which Category Do Your Relationship Problems Fall?

In my office I frequently hear couples say, “When a couple can’t agree on things like sex and money and can’t communicate, they end up getting divorced…Right?” These may be perceived reasons that cause divorce, but I suggest that there are three categories where the majority of relationship problems land. May I suggest that it is the beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, that are at the root of each of the three categories below, that leads to relationship problems and ultimately leads to … [Read more...]

Marriage counselor with a flip phone

I did it. I gave up my smartphone. In recent years more and more research has found correlations between smartphone use and marriage problems, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and emotional distance. I see it in my clients. I have counseled couples for years to be careful with their use so that the phone doesn't take away from family time. Unfortunately, I found that I was not feeling as happy, my kids would ask if I was done with my phone so they could spend time with me, and I wasted more … [Read more...]

Detailed instructions for adding the remarketing tag to your website