Mistaken Identity

Are you dealing with a mistaken identity? Are you aware that your mistaken identity is negatively impacting your marriage or couple relationship? This is happening when you mistake poor behavior or a negative attitude as being part of your identity or personality? Every day I directly tell couples to stop being critical, defensive, making assumptions, and a long list of other things that are guaranteed to improve their relationships. However, I often hear things like “I’m not going to change who … [Read more...]

What do you remember?

Do times feel tough in your relationship? Do you wish things felt as easy and exciting as they seemed when you and your spouse first got together? I remember the great times I had with my wife when we were dating. We went fishing up Logan canyon. We took walks around the campus at Utah State. We listened to music we both loved. We went to baseball games. I remember many great times we had. The common themes from these memories are: We had great times. The great times preceded the … [Read more...]

Try Differently

Recently, my car broke down in the parking lot of the building where I do couples counseling in Sandy, UT. The next day was a Saturday and I brought my son with me as I tried to determine what was wrong with the car. After unsuccessfully trying to jump start the car, I determined that the battery might be bad since it was getting old. After installing a new battery the car still would not start. As I was getting out of the car from trying to start it, my son said, “Get back in and try again. I … [Read more...]

You hardly talk to me anymore

You hardly talk to me anymore When I come through the door at the end of the day I remember when you couldn't wait to love me Used to hate to leave me... It used to be so natural To talk about forever But used-to-be's don't count anymore They just lay on the floor 'til we sweep them away... These are some of the lyrics from a well known song written by Neil Diamond and sung by many artists over the years. The lyrics tell a common tale that many struggle with. Do you relate? Does it … [Read more...]

Take the Stronger Couples 365 Challenge

The year is coming to an end and this is the time when many people naturally reflect on their lives and decide what changes need to be made. Often the goals for the new year are focused on individual pursuits. This coming year, instead of focusing on improving yourself, make this coming year a time to focus on strengthening your couple relationship. I am challenging all couples to take our Stronger Couples 365 challenge. The challenge is this: Every day next year, make a conscious choice to … [Read more...]

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