Stop the Relationship Wrestling

Take down–two points. Reversal–two points. Pin–for the win. These are all things I witnessed at my son’s most recent wrestling tournament. As I sat and watched my son wrestle, I couldn’t help but think that I see a similar pattern of verbal and emotional behavior from many of the couples I have seen in my office. Each of these couples seem more concerned with taking down their partner or finding a reversal of a comeback. While some partners some partners will go to great lengths to get the pin … [Read more...]

Create a Magical Couple Relationship

When I was a little boy, I would lay awake anticipating what presents Santa Claus was going to bring me. In spite of fact that Santa Claus never gave me what I had asked for, year after year I would experience the wonder and excitement of anticipating what Santa would bring me. I believe my childhood anticipation was a gift that made this time of year “magical” for me. As I think about other “magical” moments in my life that I have awaited with excited anticipation, I think about, the time I … [Read more...]

In Which Category Do Your Relationship Problems Fall?

In my office I frequently hear couples say, “When a couple can’t agree on things like sex and money and can’t communicate, they end up getting divorced…Right?” These may be perceived reasons that cause divorce, but I suggest that there are three categories where the majority of relationship problems land. May I suggest that it is the beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, that are at the root of each of the three categories below, that leads to relationship problems and ultimately leads to … [Read more...]

Venting Leads to Relationship Suffocation

If you carefully read the label of many cleaners, glues, paints, or anything else that it potentially toxic, it will tell you to use the product in a well ventilated area. In these instances, proper ventilation helps us to minimize the effects that toxic fumes may have on our minds and bodies. However, when it comes to building a stronger relationship, venting to others about your spouse/partner can cause the relationship to suffocate. You may have assumed that venting to family and friends … [Read more...]

Is Your Relationship Being Consumed?

In the world today, regardless of your socioeconomic status, there are countless things to consume and opportunities to experience. This countless array of things and experiences creates a giant magnet that can pull us away those we love and threatens relationships. The more we focus on what we individually want to consume or experience the more likely we are to see our partner as someone who is a barrier to our consumption or experiences. The more we see them as a barrier the further we are … [Read more...]

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