The Famous Break-Up Line That Will Improve Your Marriage

The Famous Break-Up Line That Will Improve Your Marriage

Young couple in love

The famous line we hear in movies and tv shows attempting to soften the break-up helping one partner feel that they didn’t do anything wrong and that they are breaking up with them because of their own faults and not their partner’s is

“It’s not you, it’s me”.

Have you ever used this before in a break-up? What about in your marriage?

This might sound like a weird phrase to say in your marriage but let’s think about it. How often in our marriages do people think “it’s not me, it’s you”? Many couples that seek marriage counseling are consumed with this idea that it is their spouse that needs to change and if they would change, the relationship would be better and they would both be happier. Problem solved, right? Wrong.

Marital distress is created, continued and sometimes made worse when we focus on our partner’s faults. If we are continuously looking at what our spouse is doing wrong and the things they need to fix and change then these things soon become all that we see. We began to see these things more and more and they become a bigger issue that often times lead partners wondering why they are even with this person any more.

A marriage can flourish and succeed if we start thinking “It’s not you, it’s me”. Stop focusing on your spouse’s faults and the changes you think they need to make and start focusing on your own faults and the changes you need to make. You have probably even heard these faults from your partner but we are usually too caught up in what is wrong with our partner we don’t hear or understand the ways we are affecting the relationship and what we can do about it.

I challenge you to begin thinking “It’s not you, it’s me” and using this phrase in your marriage to focus on what you need to change instead of what your spouse needs to change.

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