What am I feeling?!

Emotions can be a tricky thing, one moment you are feeling fine and living care free. Then out of the blue, we are mad, sad, or nervous and it can happen in an instance. Emotions are a universal trait we all have to deal with, the good and the bad. For children it is the worst! Emotions are these foreign things that they can’t put a finger on and sometime we as adult have an unfair expectation when we ask them how they are feeling. They don’t know a lot of the times, and to be fair many adults … [Read more...]

How to Build Trust after an Affair or Other Infidelity

Imagine you are a business owner, the year is 1999 and you move your headquarters into the World Trade Center. You are at the top of the world.  It seems nothing can keep you from succeeding. Without warning on September, 11th 2001 your world comes to an end. Half your employees are dead and very quickly you lose everything and file bankruptcy. By some miracle and a lot of hard work, you are able to rebuild your new business to the same glory. A high powered Real Estate Developer calls on you. … [Read more...]

Feeling Understood: The Importance of Validation

    We all want to feel understood and valued. When we sense that others understand our perspective, we feel safer in relationships and more confident in general. Paradoxically, although we inherently crave understanding, we don’t intuitively know how to attain it. Indulge me as a bibliophile for a moment: this universal desire to understand those we love, and to feel understood by them, is a prominent literary theme. All levels of readers relate to this internal drive; we … [Read more...]

More Than Words: Three Key Elements Your Relationship Craves

My husband and I have been married for over ten years. In that time, I have come to realize that for a marriage to work, and be strong, and for both parties to be independently and collectively happy, it takes much more than words. It requires more than the rote “I love you” whispered as you briefly brush by one another. Yes, words are important, and I will be the first to advocate for healthy communication. What I am talking about though is deeper, more personal, and more intimate. Within each … [Read more...]

Getting the most out of therapy with the help of apps

THANK GOODNESS for technology, amiright?! More recently, I would say, THANK GOODNESS for some of the new therapy apps. You can download amazing resources, many free, that can assist in healing, keep you grounded when away from therapy, and teach you things that perhaps your therapist never knew you needed to hear. I thought I would list a few apps today for all those who are interested in amazing potential that technology has to improve your emotional life.   Headspace- a … [Read more...]

Choose to Have Time!

"I just don't have time." Have you ever used that line before? Most of us have. In our modern society, we live busy lives.  Have you ever thought about how many hours you actually have in a day? Today, I listened to a TED talk by Laura Vanderkam about gaining control of our free time. She talked about the numbers and broke it down. She said that we have 168 hours in a week. If we work 40 hours and sleep 8 hours (and who actually gets 8?) we still have 72 extra hours per week. That really made me … [Read more...]

 Don’t be Content with the Status Quo (Part 2)

Quick reminder of the Path of with discernment therapy Path 1: The Status Quo Path 2: Separation or Divorce Path 3: Reconciliation What is to be gained from clarity and confidence when you decide to be committed on a path for the relationship? This comes in the form of commitment, and feeling like the decision made is going to lead to the best result. Rash and emotional decisions lead to regrets, the feeling of what if, and feeling unsettled. The process of discernment counselling is … [Read more...]

Love and Money

Love and Money Research tells us that when couples argue about their finances they aren’t actually talking about money. Yet, research also shows that money is the one of most frequently cited sources of friction in a marriage. The conclusion we can draw from these two seemingly paradoxical truths is that couples often misunderstand the meanings of money. The Gottman Institute teaches: “Money is loaded with power and meaning that can make discussions heated and hurtful. Arguments … [Read more...]

How Feeling Leads to Healing

“The true meaning of being alive is not just to feel happy, but to experience the full range of human emotions.” –Edward Deci Sometimes people believe in the notion that all they want is “to be happy.” If this were really the case, then very few people would do anything challenging, risk-taking in relationships, or even go to a haunted house because they would probably feel feelings other than “happy.” Being happy can even get in the way when other emotions are more appropriate like being … [Read more...]

Helping kids through divorce

Unfortunately, despite many people who get married with good intentions there are a great many marriages that do end in divorce. Some stats predict that of all the children born last year, 50% of them will experience their parents divorce by the time they are 18 years old. Those same parents, with the same intentions to protect kids can accidentally make their divorce a great challenge on their children. I think the biggest NO-NO for parents divorcing is to give their child the impression … [Read more...]