One of the hardest things to do is staying in the status quo of a relationship that is mired in bad blood or resentment. Yet, there are couples that feel like they have to stick it out for their children and then they can leave the relationship and be happy. That is a long wait and an extended period of time that these people have been missing out on being happy. In this kind of situation there are three paths couples can take staying in the status quo, separation or divorce, and reconciliation. This is called discernment counseling, an assessment for the relationship to help clients find clarity and confidence with a path they want to choose. This counseling was developed at the university of Minnesota by William Doherty, PH.D. The intention for discernment counseling is to help couples who are feeling ambiguous about what they want to do concerning their relationship.
This is not therapy this is finding clarity and confidence to make a decision so the couples can feel good about the path they would like to choose. Once confident and clear about the path they have chosen, therapy can be the most effective. Path one the Status quo, accepting the situation and moving forward. Path two, means talking about the pros and cons to staying in the relationship or leaving. Finally, path three committing 6 month to therapy, taking separation off the table and giving your full effort into the relationship, after which a reevaluation of the relationship can be made. Each path has a purpose and this counseling helps clients decide what they want for themselves. This is a lot to take in for one blog post, and how this looks in the proceeding session will be talked about in part two.