When I was finishing graduate school, I had been pushing to finish my Thesis, my Theory on How Change Occurs in Therapy, and my 660^th therapy hour. At this same time, I was on the job hunt and received an opportunity to interview for my current job. The only trick was that the interview was in two days and in the afternoon on the same day that I had to turn in my final draft of my thesis to my committee. I was nervous that staying up late to finish would impact my ability to interview well, and I felt like I needed to seek some support from my friends.

The next day and the night before the interview , I called and texted several of my friends to see if any of them could take 4 hours out of the middle of the day to drive me to Salt Lake to my interview and back. Of course people are busy and with short notice could not really re-arrange their whole day. I was amazed that one of my friends Suzy called me back in the morning to let me know that she had changed her schedule with work and that she would be happy to drive me. I was so grateful and able to sleep an extra hour and a half on the drive down. I woke up from the drive, felt great about the interview, and shortly after was offered the job.

It may feel intuitive that friends make life happier, but having good friends is one of the best buffers against depression. The following benefits of friendships has been found in research:

1. Everyday conversations with friends can be as meaningful as momentous life events,
2. More social ties helps people live a longer life and 50% less likely to die early.
3. If you spend 6-7 hours a day with family and friends then you are 12 times more likely to be happy.
4. Physical benefits such as one study found that college students were half as likely to get sick if they had close friendships.
5. Having friends at work increases the likelihood of being encouraged in pursuits, receiving praise, that their opinions counted, and the opportunity to do what they do best.

Here are a few ideas on ways to build your friendships:

1. Skip small talk sometimes and get to more important topics can increase meaningful conversations and improve friendships.
2. Text someone just to say hello or send your gratitude for the relationship.
3. Show kindness and caring in person and on social media. Don’t spend too much time clicking around as heavy Facebook users have been shown to decrease wellbeing.
4. If you are feeling down, pay someone a visit and find a way to serve him or her so you both feel better.
5. Introduce yourself to someone new.

Often when people experience depression, they feel alone in their suffering, like one can understand their experience. In reality, there is nothing more relatable and human than to experience adversity, and it can bring people together in empathy and support to build friendships and help everyone feel better.