5 Thoughts About Kissing

5 Thoughts About Kissing

What does kissing have to do with predicting longevity, health, and emotional well-being?

Kissing is steeped in magic and mystery. And yet, kissing often settles into a quick peck on the lips before we return to our to-do list. In all relationships, behaviors and words can be misunderstood. Feeling misunderstood results in a sense of emotional disconnection. A kiss can change us and change our relationship. A kiss is a powerful and simple way to reconnect.

Five thoughts about kissing (from Gottman):

  • Kiss for at least six seconds. If you make out that is fine, too. A six-second kiss releases the feel-good hormone, oxytocin. This hormone relates to emotional connection and bonding. Dopamine is also released during the six-second kiss. The stress hormone, cortisol, decreases after kissing for six seconds.
  • A German study found that men who kiss their wives every day live five years longer than men who did not.
  • John Gottman asserts the six-second kiss is one form of “affair-proofing.”
  • A kiss is a sign of genuine intimacy. Kissing reminds us of the distinctly human qualities that brought us to our partner. Kissing helps us feel closer, increases trust, and helps us feel emotional connection.
  • Researchers discovered that partners in great love relationships kiss each other on a regular basis. Cuddling, compliments, talking, occasional surprises also strengthen the friendship between intimate partners.

If you have kids, and you kiss in their presence, they may roll their eyes and make comments. Kiss in front of them. It’s for their own good. Other research shows kids feel safer and attached when they see their parents kissing, hugging, and otherwise showing affection.

If you want additional help enhancing your friendship or improving your communication skills, contact a relationship expert here.

Additional reading, The Man’s Guide to Women by Gottman.

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