Growing Apart from Your Spouse?

Are you growing apart in your marriage? Do you feel like you and your spouse are drifting away from each other?
It seems to be a trend, and you are not alone. Some couples experience this disconnect, but it is how you respond and how you react to it that matters.

For most couples the fear of becoming strangers can add unwanted concerns and worries to their marriage. I have seen couples drifting apart after years of marriage and wondering how they became so distant from each other.
Because of this personal observation, I am highly interested in addressing this topic and I would like to share my experience with couples in therapy who struggle with “emotional disconnection.”

What are some signs and reasons why we disconnect?

  1. Growing apart in marriage happens slowly over a period of time. It can be a result of the most simple and smallest decisions that you make every day. I see couples expressing their concerns about the things that their spouse has stopped doing such showing gestures of appreciation, love, patience or support. Along with the neglect of the “little things,” multiple responsibilities and obligations such as family, work, personal challenges, health problems, loss of balancing social life and your marriage can also contribute to feeling disconnected to your loved one.
  2. Lack of communication and understanding are one of the most common signs in drifting apart from your spouse. If you feel like your spouse does not care for your physical or emotional needs, and your conversations turn into fights or useless arguments, or maybe you are happier communicating your needs to others and doing exciting things without your spouse, you might need to work on reconnecting.
  3. Loss of satisfying physical intimacy, lack of active sex life, and extreme use of social media and social interaction outside the home without your partner’s participation might also be signs that you are growing apart.
  4. Another important sign to be considered is feeling frequently annoyed or irritated by your spouse. It may seem like you fight and criticize each other often and you do not look forward to interacting with your spouse.
  5. The moment you stop doing the positive, little things together, or start enjoying more time alone away from home, the emotional connection begins to fade away, and over time you find yourself wondering why are we filing for divorce? Or how do I am let myself to be involved in an affair? Or maybe how did we get to this point in our relationship?

How do we start reconnecting?

As humans, we always growing and changing, and it is natural to be pulled apart in different directions as we move throughout life. The antidote is to be intentional about making decisions that help you to be closer to your spouse, like expressing your love and gratitude for your marriage, and learning and discovering each other every day. It is not too late to reconnect emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually with your loved one if you are willing to be honest and make the time and effort needed.

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