I recently came across this video by the School of Life. The video helps viewers understand the distance and cold we can sometimes feel for, or from, our partner. They don’t use the word attachment in the video. Attachment is the idea that humans are born with an innate ability and desire to attach to a caregiver. Having a secure attachment to our parents creates a safe world where little human children feel safe and free to explore. Children with strong attachment regulate their emotions better, and manage relationships in adulthood with more ease.
The desire to be connected doesn’t change when we grow into adulthood. Our partner becomes our attachment figure. Our world’s security begins revolving around them. When we are secure as adults, we are productive and happy. When we are not secure we tend to have some strange coping mechanisms like; withdrawing from your partner or pursuing your partner in times of crisis. If these behaviors are not understood properly from the person experiencing them, that person may make faulty conclusions about their relationship.
This video discusses in every day language why we can sometimes grow bored of our partners, and what that really means about our relationship.
If the video doesn’t start on its own, here is the link: https://vimeo.com/199826671