How did you fall in love?

One of the concepts I discuss with those receiving couples counseling is falling in love. I frequently ask them to tell me why they fell for the other when they first got together. They report on things such as: Kindness Sense of humor Connection they felt Physical attraction Enjoyment of time together Similar interests How they compliment each other Feeling important' Similar goals in life Etc. I then ask them to share with me the types of things they did to … [Read more...]

How do I save my marriage?

As the new year begins, it offers the time-old tradition of setting resolutions. You might resolve to exercise more, learn a new skill or talent, be more diligent in something, eat better, or get enough sleep. We set these goals to save our health, save our happiness, and to save our potential. All of these are worthy goals. However, the goal that may have the most lasting impact on your long-term happiness and health may actually be focusing on saving your marriage. "Does my marriage need to … [Read more...]

Where has the loyalty gone?

I have always been a bit of a news junkie. I typically enjoy staying caught-up with the things going on here in Utah, around the country, and in the world. I find myself struggling to find enjoyment in the climate that seems to have become the norm in the media. Self-centeredness seems to be at the heart of so many problems surfacing across the country. This self-centered norm exists largely because too many in society are focused on "what's in it for me?". Selfishness is at the root of so … [Read more...]

Believe In Your Marriage

One of the most important keys to overcoming marital problems is to believe in your marriage. Believe that it can be saved. Believe in yourself and your spouse in your abilities to make the personal changes necessary for things to be made right. Certainly there are circumstances where a relationship may not be salvageable. However, those tend to be more the exception than the rule. In any case, without believing that things can improve, they likely won't. The reason? Because your motivation … [Read more...]

The Two Most Important Skills Couples Should Learn

There are two "V" skills that every couple should learn together: How to be vulnerable with each other. How to validate each other. Vulnerable: If there is one person that you should be able to feel vulnerable with, it is your spouse/partner. They re the person who should be your first call when something difficult, horrible, exciting, or boring happens. You should want to share the experience with them. That is why vulnerability is so important. It facilitates sharing in the … [Read more...]